Do you know what your love language is? We all enjoy romantic movies with happy endings. In real life, this is not always the case. There are many reasons why relationships work or don’t work. One factor is that the couple did not take the time to understand each other’s love language. If you feel unappreciated by your friends then it might just be a misunderstanding of their love language.
What is A Love Language?
A love language is the language we speak or show when we express our love. Love languages are the ways we show our love to other people. This is also the same way we want people to show their love back to us.
Each person has a different way of showing their love. That’s why it’s important that you know and understand what your love language is so you can talk to your partner about it. It is also important that you learn the other person’s love language so you can show your love for them in their own love language.
The 5 Love Languages
There are 5 love languages but each person is inclined to have 1 primary one and 1 or 2 other ways in which they express and appreciate their love. Try to identify what yours is and what your partner’s love language is.
1. Words of Affirmation
If you love hearing compliments from the person you love, then this is definitely one of your love languages. You feel loved when you get messages that say how much they love you or that they miss you. Getting a thoughtful note from them puts a smile on your face and you like doing the same.
However, you might end up annoyed with your partner, or annoying them, if you express your love in this way but they don’t speak this love language. So try to moderate yourself and spend time to find out what their love language is.
2. Quality Time
Maybe you don’t like complimenting or sending thoughtful messages that much but you always give your full attention to the one you love. This doesn’t mean just making an effort to spend time together. Your way of showing love is by giving the person you love your full, undivided attention whenever you are together.
You might like scheduling movie nights at home together with just the 2 of you. When you are talking, you are attentive and actively listening. This also means that you get annoyed when your partner is spending more time checking their phone than paying attention to you. Know what your partner’s love language is. This will help you appreciate how they express their love for you even if you don’t speak the same love language.
3. Receiving Gifts
Most people assume that this way of feeling loved is materialistic but this is not so. The gifts don’t have to be big and luxurious. In fact, it’s the frequency that’s important so even the little things count.
Receiving flowers make you smile. Getting a new basketball or a new exercise band from your loved one makes you feel loved. You also like giving gifts to your loved one even when there’s no special occasion. The gift doesn’t have to be expensive; it can even be silly. It’s just the way you express and appreciate love.
4. Physical Touch
If you’re a very tactile person then this is one of your love languages. You show your love by physically touching your loved one. Stroking your partner’s back while you’re watching a movie, giving them a hug when saying goodbye or welcoming them back home are just some of the ways you physically express your love.
In the same way, you feel loved when your partner offers to give your legs a massage after a long day at work. You feel loved and you express your love with PDA (public display of affection) when you’re out and about. If you find your partner squirming whenever you hug them, then this may not be their love language.
5. Acts of Service
You express your love by doing something for someone. You’re the type who volunteers to wash the dishes if your partner cooked for you. Going to the grocery store, taking out the garbage, doing the laundry are some of the ways you show your love.
So when your partner volunteers to run your errands for you or drives you somewhere during their day off, then you feel very much loved. In the same way, you may feel unappreciated and unloved when your partner doesn’t show acts of service for you.
Know and Develop Your Love Languages
You may think that you do show your love in many ways but you should also learn and know what your partner’s love language is. This way you can show them your love in the way they can understand and appreciate it the most.
Don’t use your love languages as an excuse to not expand your knowledge and skills. You can always learn a new love language so you can express your love in more ways. Don’t wait until it’s too late to express your love for someone. Learning new love languages will definitely open up a whole new world to you. When you’ve mastered all the 5 love languages, then you can speak fluent love. This means you can express your love to more people who speak other love languages.