Relationships are always difficult to let go of. Sometimes we feel deep regret for leaving behind a person because of all the memories we had with them. It also these memories that holds us back from letting go.
People change and so do their goals; so it is natural that some people drift apart. Although it feels difficult to acknowledge this situation; it is necessary for both of you to accept the situation and to part ways as pleasantly as you can. If you are in the middle of deciding whether you need to let go of a relationship or not; here are some signs to help you choose your way.
You’ve Lost Yourself
A good relationship should be where you can be yourself and act comfortably with the other person. You don’t feel the need to hold yourself back, to pretend or to hide things from them. You enjoy communicating your honest thoughts and feelings with them. If this is not the case, then you might need to reconnect with yourself first. See if this relationship is helping you grow personally too. You might have relegated yourself to supporting your partner’s goals and forgetting your own dreams. This can be a sign that it’s time to let go of a relationship and spend more time getting to know yourself better instead.
You Want Different Things
When you notice that you are not on the same page in your goals and outlook in life; then maybe it’s time to consider letting go of the relationship. People continually grow in different ways. Couples may end up focusing on different goals. Your individual history and life experience influences how you look at the future. If you and your partner’s or friend’s goals are clearly diverging from each other; then it is a sign that it’s time to let go. The separation need not be unpleasant if you can talk about it as honestly as you can. Think of it as both of you taking a different route but you may have a chance to walk the same path again in the future.
You Feel Lonely Even When Together
A healthy relationship is one where both people are happy to share their experiences with each other. If you feel lonely even when you are on a date; then it is a clear sign that there’s something wrong in your relationship. You might both be feeling the same loneliness even when you’re together. Both of you may be unwilling to let go of the familiarity that you feel from each other. You may not be understanding each other’s love language. Some of us might even mistake this feeling as a normal phase and call it contentment, or settling in to the ordinariness of daily life. But if you are not emotionally or even physically connecting anymore; it is time to take stock of why you are staying in the relationship.
You Are Finding Excuses for Bad Behavior
It might be you who is finding excuses to justify your negative behavior; or you are finding justifications for your partner’s bad behavior. If this is the case; then you will end up fighting with each other and alienating yourself from the people around you. You are blinded by the goal of keeping your relationship that you are not acknowledging the things that are not working. Although the thought of “you and me against the world” sounds romantic; it is not a pleasant situation to be in. Finding excuses to explain away bad behavior is like finding reasons to stay in the relationship when it’s clear that you’re not feeling good about being in one anymore.
You Feel Drained of Your Energy
Being in a relationship should be a pleasant experience for both parties, most of the time. There are ups and downs, but you should both be able to boost each other’s energy especially in challenging times. If maintaining the relationship is draining your energy instead; then it’s time to see if the relationship has become one-sided. Are you the only one giving your time, most of the time? Are you constantly worrying about what you can do to ensure that your partner will not leave you? Do you experience sleepless nights overthinking if your partner is cheating or not? If this is how you are feeling day in, day out; then it can be a sign that it is time to let go of this relationship.
People will have different ways to process letting go. Although it is a difficult process; we must accept that not all people who walk into our lives are here to stay. Some of them accompany us for a time to teach us a lesson. This may be by helping us discover our potential or by hurting us so we discover our own weakness and find our strength in the process. Once we accept that “letting go” is a constant challenge that we need to go through in life; it becomes less difficult to process this experience.
Being in a relationship should feel like you are at home, with the person who is most important to you. If this is not how it feels; then it is a sign that it’s time to evaluate. Remember that only by letting go, can we make space in our lives for the things we want. If we keep holding on to things that don’t serve us anymore; then we will not be able to move forward.
Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash.