When we think about what matters to us the most, we often think of our goals for ourselves, for our loved ones, for our work, for our community. However, there are even more fundamental things to consider so that we can achieve these goals — and even when we don’t — and these are the things that truly matter.
In science, the common understanding in the past was that the atom was the basic building block of all matter. However, upon further investigation with more modern and more powerful instruments, we now know that the atom itself is composed of even smaller elements and these elements are composed of elements that are smaller still.
Who are You When Alone?
If we liken each individual to an atom, what are the smaller components that make up someone that enable them to succeed in living a full life in this world? This is where we should look for what matters most for each person.
“The starting point of discovering who you are, your gifts, your talents, your dreams, is being comfortable with yourself. Spend time alone. Write in a journal. Take long walks in the woods.”— Robin S. Sharma
Have you spent time learning about yourself on your own? If you are not comfortable being by yourself, then you cannot expect other people to be as comfortable with you as you’d like them to be. This also means that you are only looking to be with other people because you cannot bear to be by yourself. Why is that so? A time of isolation is a great opportunity to get to know yourself even better. You may find out what your real goals in life are in the process.
“Loneliness is no excuse for compromise. Be comfortable with yourself before you choose to be with someone else just to avoid being alone.”— Yadin Kaufmann
Who are you when you are by yourself? Whether you are living with your family or you living alone, try to set aside time to get to know yourself better. When you learn to like and love yourself as you are; you will find that your self-confidence will grow and you will find ways to address your own shortcomings as you get to know yourself better.
Who are You in Front of Others?
Our personalities are just the tip of the iceberg that we show other people. Who we are as individuals — our mindset, our attitude, our character and the values that we deem important — are what matters most for each person. These are the things that influence how we interact with other people and how we act and react to the trials we go through life.
“Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curve your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”— Bianca Sparacino