Social wellness is very important in our overall wellbeing. Having positive relationships with the people around us is essential to being happy. However, it is not as easy as it sounds. There are many toxic people around us. Sometimes without us realizing it, we also become toxic ourselves. And once in a while, we encounter people who are top-notch higher than your regular toxic persons because these people are out there to destroy you. The question now is how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
Signs Someone Wants to Destroy You
It is normal to be hurt by others. That is all part of our spiritual journey. We become better persons because of the pain that we experience in life. What is important is learning how to turn the pain into success. However, it is very painful to feel betrayed by someone whom we really trust. It is something that we hope we can avoid. If this happens, know that it is not our fault especially if we encounter a master manipulator in disguise. But it will be very helpful if we can identify the signs that someone wants to destroy us so we can take the necessary precautions on dealing with these people early on.
The first obvious sign is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where they put the blame on you. They will confuse you and make you doubt yourself. Instead of taking responsibility for what they have done, they will somehow shift the blame to you. And before you know it, you will then have a guilty feeling that somehow you have hurt that person. Little by little, you will be torn apart.
Another sign is that they only appear in your life when they need something. If they are with you, they always point out the negative in you. They act like they are better than you in all aspects. They are also not supportive of your dreams and goals. All these actions are meant to destroy your sense of self-worth.
They will also isolate you from the rest of the people around you. If you feel that you are no longer in touch with people whom you are close to before, then look at the person beside you. Is that person trying to isolate you from the rest of your friends?
How To Protect Yourself From People Who Wants To Destroy You
Now that you have identified these type of toxic people, the first thing to do is to ask yourself. Why do you think they want to destroy you? There is always a possibility that it can be your fault. Did you do something wrong? Is there a possibility that you have hurt that person? Keep in mind that some ultra-sensitive persons can be hurt even with the smallest of things. You could have offended that person without you knowing.
If your conscience is clear, then stop beating yourself up. It is not about you rather it is about them. Maybe, they are jealous of your success especially If they have not achieved anything in life. Another explanation is that, they are being influenced by someone else who has a grudge or is jealous of what you have and what you have achieved. They are insecure about themselves so they feel better if they bring others down. Backbiting and backstabbing are all part of their daily routine.
The sad part is that there will always be someone like them in our lives and you just have to learn to deal with them. Here are some tips on how to deal with people who wants to destroy you:
These people have the tendency to always play the blame game. They will never accept responsibility and will always put the blame on others. If this happens, do not get angry. Instead, respectfully disagree with what they are saying. Be assertive but do not lose your temper.
You do not deserve these toxicities. Learn to love yourself. Prioritize your needs. Learn to say no. Make yourself sparse.
Keep distance from them. If possible, cut them out entirely. Get out of such an abusive relationship. If you are not available, then it would not be possible for them to spread their toxicity on you.
3. Set Boundaries.
Refrain from sharing too much of your life with them. Set boundaries. Too much information about you will give them grounds to attack you. If they know nothing, it will be harder for them to spread lies about you. And they will have nothing to comment on. So be careful in sharing information about your life not just to them but to common friends as well.
4. Be Indifferent.
If you feel confident about yourself, you will not be hurt by the meaningless words of toxic people. Ignore them and don’t be bothered by their ranting.
At some point in time, especially if it is not possible to cut them off from your life; it is best to confront them. Tell them that they have no right to attack you. Let them know that you are aware of what they are up to. This can serve as a warning to them that they could no longer approach you.