Almost all of us are wondering how to move on in life after the challenges we’ve been thru. Most of us end up lost and clueless after difficult times. We are usually uncertain of what our next steps should be. Life goes on but we feel stuck instead.
While we may not be in our best shape after going though life’s trials; we still need to do what we can to move on and get closer to the life we want. Here are some tips to help you get a move on and away from a negative life experience.
Accept and Be Thankful
Accepting that a situation is what it is should be your first step to moving on. That means accepting the fact that you and the other people involved made mistakes; that the situation maybe irreparable; and that it will take some time to mend each other’s hurts and clear up the situation.
Stop day dreaming about what could have been or the what if’s. Accept the fact that this chapter in your life is now a permanent part of your history. But remember that this chapter does not define your whole life. You can close this chapter whenever you want to.
Acceptance also means that you acknowledge your own flaws and mistakes but you don’t dwell on blaming yourself or the other parties. Remember that you are more than that one broken piece of you. Instead, you should use the situation to learn life lessons. What did you like and did not like about the persons/situation? What can you do next time to avoid the same issues? Take stock of what this person or situation has taught you and be grateful for it.
Being accepting also means that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t pretend like you’re okay. Cry if you have to; get a friend to whom you can rant to. Write a letter that describes all the gory details while you’re crying instead of bottling up your emotions. Just don’t send it to anyone though.
The point is to feel what you need to feel so that in the future, you can be more aware when a situation has taken a wrong turn; and that is, when you start feeling the same emotions again. Take the time to purge yourself of your negative emotions or to rechannel it. But don’t dwell too long in that negative space. Learn to forgive yourself and promise to do better.
Give yourself a day or two; then take a deep breath and take the next step on how to move on in life. This step is based on your own personal circumstances so it will be different for each one but the next tip should help.
Re-Invest in Your Self
Most of us forget to take care of our selves in our pursuit of success and happiness in the different areas of our life. One of the best things you can do for your self after a challenging life experience is to re-invest in yourself.
Take stock of your own self value. We often forget our own value as we try to please other people in our lives; be it our romantic partner, our work colleagues or boss, or even the expectations of our family members.
You have invested so much of your time and energy into other things that you might have forgotten to give your self some love. Now is the time to indulge in self-care practices to show yourself some love. This is also one way to start your own healing process.
Remember what you were passionate about as a child. As a child, what were your dreams then? What are you good at doing or making? What qualities do you like in other people?
Learning the wonderful things about yourself helps you to identify the qualities that you also value in others. This is what you can share with other people and what other people appreciate about you. We often forget these wonderful aspects of our personalities as we adjust our attitudes and behavior to blend in with our community and environment.
Remembering what makes you who you are and what you can offer to the world will not only boost your sense of self-worth and confidence; it will also help you to figure out how you can utilize your unique talents and abilities to transform your self into the successful person you’ve always wanted to be.
Focus on Change
The time after a storm is when you can see a clearer picture of what you can do and what you can change to transform things for the better. The same is true for personal challenges. When the storm of your life has passed, take stock of what you can do at the moment to change things and improve your situation. You can begin again.
Focus on what you can control. You can’t control what other people think, feel or do. So focus on what you can do on your own to start making change. Now that you have decided to close this chapter; it is the perfect time to start planning out the rest of your life.
Define what success means for you. Plan out some fun times in your life. Envision the kind of people you want to hang out with; the relationships you want to have. Write down your ideal life story. Break down your goals into measurable chunks. Finally, outline the small steps that you can start working on to start making the change you want.
Of course, planning out the rest of your life will take more than a day. Taking the time to clarify what is important to you will be worth it in the long run. You are building the foundation for the rest of your future so don’t rush through the process. How you want to live your life is your personal responsibility so step up to the challenge.