No human being is exactly the same. Even identical twins differ not just physically but emotionally and mentally. These attributes together with our thoughts and experiences result in different values, beliefs and point of views. Thus, it is normal for people to agree or disagree. That is why people sometimes argue. Arguing is a natural form of human interaction. As long as we live and communicate with other people, it is possible to argue once in a while. However, disagreements especially with your loved ones are very uncomfortable and stressful. For this reason, it is best to avoid arguments. If it still arises, there are ways to resolve an argument or differences.
1.Apologize
Sometimes, disagreements get heated. If this happens, we normally end up saying things that we don’t mean to hurt the other person. By apologizing, you help the other person feel better. You are re-establishing their dignity that you have crushed. It is a way of showing respect and empathy to the other person. That is why you should know when and how to apologize properly.
Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong, it just means that you value your relationships more than your ego.
– Unknown
2.Ask
Many arguments start because of miscommunications. Making assumptions on what you think the other person is trying to say can lead to a full blown argument. To avoid misunderstandings and to ensure that you are on the same page, always ask questions for clarification.
It is not the answer that enlightens but the question.
– Eugene Jonesco
3. Breathe
Take deep breathes during an argument. When we argue, our body is in the fight or flight response. Our breathing becomes shallow, our heart rate increases and our blood pressure shoots up.. By breathing deeply, we are restoring blood flow into our system. It also sends signals to our brain that it is time to calm down and relax.
Just by breathing deeply on your anger, you will calm it.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
4. End on a Positive Note
You may not feel like it but it is better to always end an argument on a positive note. Wrap up the argument by saying something nice like “thank you for your thoughts” or “I will think about it”. It is hard to shake off negative emotions but it is even harder to mend broken relationships.
5. Know When to Stop
You know you are right but the other person can’t seem to understand, so what do you do? When this happens, it is a signal that it is time to stop. If you know the other person well, you should be able to know when to stop. Getting stuck in a long unproductive argument is stressful. No good is going to come out of it. Learn to develop the skill of knowing when to prove your point and when to detect when the argument is getting out of hand.
In life, it is important to know when to stop arguing with people and let them simply be wrong.
– Unknwon
6. Listen
When you have a different opinion with another person, do you listen while the other person is talking or were you simply just preparing for what you are going to say next? To resolve an argument, we must listen to understand, not listen to pick a fight or prove a point. Listening is important because it is the key to effective communication.
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
– Bryant H. McGill
7.Look for Solutions
Too often, we go to a person when we are very angry about something. However, before you confront a person, it is best to analyze the situation first and look for solutions. Don’t just present a problem, find a solution on how to address the problem. By doing so, you are giving yourself time to calm down thus avoiding a heated argument. Always be in the problem-solving state.
Look for solutions, not problems.
– Dan Eldon
Don’t go to sleep angry. It is better to resolve an argument before you go to bed. The day may not have gone well but when the clock strikes zero o’clock, you can always look forward to a better day.
Feature Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels